i’m a jokester.

she was on her phone, standing in the way of just about everyone and everything. including the dress i wanted to see. one dress.

i inch my way towards her, pretending to be interested in any of the dresses along the way. but i wasn’t fooling anyone. with each step, i am convinced she will move herself and the drama that comes with her to the next aisle. i get closer and closer, and it is as if she doesn’t see me. i thought to myself, “i will be the one to make her move.” 

but the closer i get, the more aware i become. this call is important. this conversation is upsetting her. 

but finally. she’s off the phone, and i am standing in front of this dress. but all i can see are the tears welling up in her eyes. all i can hear are her sighs of concern. all i can think about is how selfish i am. 

“Be kind. For everyone you know is fighting a hard battle.” -Plato.

maybe next time, i will remember these words.

so this weekend was my birthday. after much crying and complaining that it wasn’t going to be everything i had hoped it would be, i gave up. stephen worked a 14 hour shift and 97% of my friends are somewhere else but here. how could i possibly have an awesome birthday? 

just like this. i spent the day with two of steve’s roommates, who in the last month or so, have quickly become two of my best friends. they gave up their saturday for me. we went to the fair, got coffee together, did a little shopping, and then they took me out to dinner. oh, and we ate ice cream cake at midnight. 8) i honestly couldn’t have asked for anything more. even through my selfishness, i’m constantly realizing that everything always works out. 

things are starting to settle down. my job situations are a bit up in the air right now, but other than that things are good. i think. 

i’ve been really down on myself lately. telling myself that i am not working hard enough, or doing as many different things as i should be. how quickly i forget a mere two weeks ago when i had not a second to spare. 

now i have lots of seconds. and you’d think i’d be enjoying them guilt free. 

but i’m not. sometimes i wish i could give myself a break.

this weekend has been one of the most stressful, eventful, emotional times in my entire life. 

steve graduated. the one person who has remained constant in my college life thus far. he’s not here anymore. yes, he’s 15 minutes away, but that’s a huge shift from right up the stairs. last night i said goodnight to him for the first time, knowing that i can’t call him as soon as i wake up to come kiss me. it’s different. it’s new.

mom & dad were here. i miss them like crazy. i wish i got to see them more. i’m learning that i won’t be able to spend my life away from them. and i don’t want to. i am so blessed to have them in my life. they care so much. i’m so grateful. it’s unfortunate, however, that i was stuck doing paperwork the whole weekend. 

i moved. that’s right. i live in an apartment. with a stove. (that smells funny when i cook) an oven. (that hasn’t been cleaned since the ‘80’s) and everything else apartment. it’s on campus, but i’ll take it.  This is different for me. I’ve never lived with anyone else before. i’ve never shared a kitchen sink, or had to worry about waking people up in the morning. now i do. and i like it. 

it’s summer. no more papers, no more classes, no more school. thank you, Lord.

this is all so new. but i’m growing up. here’s to step one!

i watched the sunrise from a rooftop. 

it was lovely.

finals. week.

…8 hours later, 2 minutes of animation complete.

yesterday was great. i spent the day shooting josh + whitney’s engagement pictures, and we had a blast. perfect weather. perfect day. 

i find that the strangest, most irrelevant pictures are usually my favorite. weird, i get it. but the above picture just struck me. it was an unposed, unexpected “kick this nasty newspaper out of the picture” moment. and there it was. (you can see more pictures here.)

on top of our great engagement shoot yesterday, i took a few prints to steel city coffee house. i am proud to announce that [currently] 3 of my prints are framed and for sale, hanging on the walls of steel city.check them out! 

after a long day of nothing but creativity and excitement, i got to spend the rest of it with the people that mean most to me. we sat around the fire, played games, listened to music so loud it hurt, danced until we were sore, and sang until we had no more voice. it was perfect.