for as long as i can remember, the desire to create something- anything, has been such a large part of who i am. over the years, it has taken on many forms. it began with music, and evolved into something much greater, and seemingly out of my control. i realized a very long time ago, that i viewed the world in a vastly different way than those around me, noticing the things no one else did. 

years later, i am taking those differences, and making something out of them. the past few years have come with numerous discoveries about who i am and what my life is to be. and i couldn’t be more excited. i am discovering that this is more than just desire. desires don’t wake you up in the middle of the night with an idea- needs do. there is a need inside of me to create. 

enter photography.

I can remember the first picture i took, as terrible as it was, that made me consider photography as my next creative outlet. it was my aunt’s funeral. i was thirteen years old, in the middle of a cemetery, knowing no other way to handle my adolescent grief than to document it. that’s where it began. since then, i had toyed with the idea of taking pictures for a living, yet always finding some excuse to run away, most of the time money related. so i would find temporary career ideas, but i somehow always found my way back. 

it wasn’t until about a year ago, when i finally decided that photography, and photography alone is what fulfills this “art shaped hole” in my life. but the decisions aren’t over.

what am i going to take pictures of?

photographing people has always been my weakness. still life is easy. it doesn’t move, and it does exactly what you tell it to. people don’t. but once again, i let go of my passion to consider finances. bad idea. i don’t ever ever ever want to be someone who regrets their choice of career. and i know with everything inside of me that if my choice wasn’t photography, i would be one of those people.

so here comes the exciting part…

this week, i had the privilege of meeting Michael Smith of Ash Imagery. i went, hoping to possibly get a chance to spend my summer carrying the equipment of a stranger who would most likely never know anything more than my name, and the fact that i enjoy photography, and if i was lucky, show me a couple things. 

i could’t have been more wrong.

it was such a surprise to me to meet someone that cared. i am so blessed and excited about the thought of spending this summer with someone who shares so many of the feelings about art that i do. i am overwhelmed with the fact that i get to learn from someone that wants to help me be as great as i can be. and i couldn’t be more excited if i tried. 

i am so ready for what the future holds. 

tonight in my design & visual language class, we discussed an article entitled “Can Offensive Art Be Christian?” via Relevant Magazine. this led to a great discussion on the role of art in and around the church. 

…i’m about to get on my soap box, and give you a glimpse into this heart of mine. 

now anyone who knows anything about me can tell you that creativity is what makes my heart beat. it is my passion. i believe that we, who are closest to the creator, should have the heart of an artist more than anyone else. why is it that we, as lovers of what is right, have given up our title as the frontrunners of the artistic world? far too often, “plagiarism” has become the platform for all Jesus serving media. 

a while back, i went to a convention and heard Jon Acuff speak. he writes a blog called “Stuff Christians Like” about the sometimes unfortunate things that Christians do and what those things reveal about our faith. he spoke a lot about how Christians are guiltier than most of stealing artistic ideas from other places and claiming them as our own. have you ever seen a shirt like the one below?

if so, i’m sorry. this is not what we’re about.

we have this unquenchable desire to create this beautiful, fictitious picture of the life in which we live.

when will we, as a church, learn that life isn’t pretty sometimes? when will it be acceptable for us to create original art about the truth of what we are feeling; not the way we wish we felt?

For goodness sake, when will we sing the correct words to John Mark McMillan’s “How He Loves?” Heaven never ever meets earth like a “loving embrace.” it’s raw, and it’s messy. accept it.

let’s be like Jesus. let’s not be scared to sing about prostitutes, and addicts. let’s use our creativity and paint something dark and real. let’s write about the unhappiest of things, and understand that it’s real. it’s truth. it’s life. 

and maybe through our honesty, someone will see what this is really all about.

so i’m getting back into the swing of things at school again. my schedule this semester is going to be different to say the least. i have no classes in the middle of the day- they are all in the morning or at night. this might make having a social life a bit more difficult, but it sure makes going to the gym easier. (and we all know i need the gym more than i need a social life)

i’m really looking forward to this year. good things are going to happen. i’m growing up, and learning more. becoming more independent and i really like it.

in other news there is a snow storm headed our way! and pomegranates have become my favorite food. (as seen below)

i’m sure you will hear a whole lot more about my break very shortly. 

(once my brain and my fingers are a bit more awake.)